So
there I was, surrounded by weird people who raise their hands when they pray. I
couldn’t remember if I joined them raising my hands but I guess I didn’t because that wasn’t my style.
Then
this kinda geeky preacher named Bo Sanchez instructed us to pray their
so-called Declaration of Abundance prayer and everyone rose to their feet,
hands raised in the air, some clasps their hands together and place in their
chest, in open or close eyes, uttered this several lines prayer that would
became an important select words on how I am going to spend my days and live my life. But back then, this is what
my stubborn head was saying;
Today,
I receive all of God’s love for me
(Me: Seriously Lord, I don’t know what I
am doing here).
Today,
I open myself to the unbounded,
(Me: Yah, you woke me up uber early and
you make me travel a long way)
Limitless,
overflowing abundance of God’s Universe.
(Me: I am broken-hearted. I prefer
healing than abundance. {Looked at my left, right, front and back} Umm, do I
also need to raise my hands??)
Today,
I open myself to God’s blessings
(Me: Okay, I must admit I need your
blessings)
Healing
and miracles
(Me: Now, I’m listening, go ahead
Lord)
Today, I open myself to God’s Word
(Me: Yup, I do.)
So
I would become more like Jesus every day.
(Me: WHATTTT???? I go here because I need you, not to be like
YOU!!!)
Today,
I proclaim that I am God’s Beloved
(Me: Ummm, {smile}that’s a
comforting word.)
I
am God’s Servant,
(Me: That won’t happen anytime soon.
I’m in a mess.)
I
am God’s Powerful Champion.
(Me: Aarrghhh, I’m an epic failure.
This prayer is not for me).
And
because I am blessed.
(Me: {listening})
I
am blessing the world
(Me: Me, blessing the world is an
EXAGGERATION!!)
In
Jesus’ name, Amen.
(Me: This prayer is tough, sigh)
When
I entered the doors of that hall, I’m a broken person- tagged along with me a
broken relationship, broken friendship, broken self-image and I no longer want
to go to work. I could almost see depression lurking at the corner ready to
attack me. That initial prayer alone is enough to scare me away and not to
finish the whole talk. But for an unknown reason, I choose to stay and be
surrounded by “faith-crazy” people who continuously raising their hands in the
air.
God’s
been faithful on His project of healing me that one ordinary morning I found
myself sitting in the sofa of my then shared-apartment, starring at this piece
of paper “Feast Bulletin” as they called it. I used to read its content when I
returned home. This day I have a special project; I wanted to memorize that
opening prayer, make myself comfortable hearing and speaking it and yes, maybe
someday, “I would become more like Jesus every day”. That sentence alone gives
me icy hands, makes me shiver and seriously uncomfortable to hear; for attaching
my name to God’s is almost an act blasphemy. That’s how my untrusting heart it
telling me.
Whenever
I heard it now, I smiled because I remembered how a simple prayer got in my nerves
and become a challenge. This time I am no longer complaining about its content.
I put my heart in the words, uttered it wherever I am, finding strength within
its words. Oh, and I also raised my hands now. I am part of the flock who
worship my Creator with hands held high, almost in an act of surrender when we
do it with both hands.
Now,
I’m capable of receiving ALL of God’s love for me. I am no longer scared being
loved by Him.
I
am comfortable accepting ALL blessings His Grace is willing to bestow on me.
I
thanked HIM for the healing and looking forward to be amazed by His everyday
miracles.
Today,
my heart is ready to receive HIS words and live by it.
And
because He loves me, I wanted people like me back then to know that He accepts
sinners, could transforms us to our best version and live a purposeful life.
I’m
looking forward to return HIS grace by serving Him using the talent(s) He gave
to me.
I’m
gonna be a Champion because He is my mentor and my God.
And
because He never hold back in blessing my life, blessing others is a lot easier.
Though
life is still not problem-free, I decided to just look at Him when problems
arise. I know that path He is leading me is good and He won’t allow me to
astray again.
I
would become more like Him every day.
